Thursday, 24 December 2020

Christmas Eve

I did think my year couldn't get any worse than it already has been but it did last weekend. So much has happened this year much of which is far too personal for the blog. Christmas is a time for remembering and last year I walked Annie at Christmastime on slow gentle walks knowing that it would be her last Christmas with us as she'd had her diagnosis and was on borrowed time. Her bed is still at the side of our bed with the lovely quilt that Jayne  from her Bag End blog surprised me with. There's Annie's dirty old flowers on it, they were her absolute favourite toys and they've been in the garden, de-stuffed and the squeakers gone but they've been washed and I can't bear to part with them. There's also her toy rabbit and rope toys which she would occasionally toss and swing about.

 

Then came my diagnosis in March and months of treatment with no visitors allowed in the hospital, unsure if I would survive the cancer that had also made it's way to my lymph nodes. I still feel weak and I'd dearly love another dog to walk but I can't allow my heart to rule my head.

Well, I'm not going to be all bah humbug as hubby and I plan a quiet Christmas spent in front of the TV which is not much different from our new normal. I have a piece of beef and a gammon joint cooking in the oven as we decided not to buy a turkey this year. We'll have a glass mulled wine tonight and  tomorrow exchange the few gifts we have bought which I haven't even wrapped but they are in gift bags. We have plenty of good food and the freezer is full and will keep us going and we will eat well.

What this year has taught me is to know who matters the most to me and I'm so fortunate to have made some very good friends here in the blogging world and you know who you are. 

Wishing you all a happy and healthy New Year. I won't be writing a review as I normally would as this year has been so effing awful.

12 comments:

  1. Take care my dear, because yes, it has been the most horrendous year. In the smallest of ways I am glad that something small from me has given you a little comfort.

    I know exactly what you mean about having another dog. In the last couple of hours I have had the most glorious long conversation with my oldest friend. Unfortunately she's in America nursing a husband with degenerative conditions and we don't get to speak very often these days. We talked about the fact that neither of us have a dog and she said "I would love one, but right now I just cannot care for anything else over and above what I am already handling" and I thought that summed it up very well.

    One day perhaps . . .

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    1. Yes one day we'll have another dog to love and care for. That's the same for us with too much on our plates right now. Your gift of the quilt for Annie from you and Daisy is very special, thank you.

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  2. Reading about Annie has just made me cry. I'm glad I got to meet her a few times, her bed looks lovely and I'm glad it's still at the side of yours. I'm remembering sweet little Sophie, I know I have Snowy now but losing Sophie still hurts.

    This year has been tough for most people one way or another and I reckon you've had it tougher than many so I hope your quiet Christmas will be warm and cosy and the New Year will bring better things for you and your family xx

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    1. Thank you Eunice you are a good friend to me. I know you understand that losing our four legged pals hurts so very much and they are such unique characters they can never be replaced. Your Snowy sounds like she's keeping you on your toes :)
      This year has been so tough for everyone and we'll all be glad to see the back of it. Hoping for much better times ahead.

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  3. Happy Christmas I'm so glad there has been positive news for you, the cancer merry-go-round is truly awful, I'm glad you have finished all your treatments, 2021 is the year for you to gain strength.

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    1. Happy Christmas. I know you have been on that cancer merry-go-round yourself and it is awful. I went through it during a pandemic so am just unlucky I guess or maybe I've been lucky as others may not have had their diagnoses or treatments. These are awful times on so many levels. Wishing you all the best for the New Year.

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  4. I feel for you Eileen with your health & other issues and I also understand about not having a pet & I still miss our two cats which we had for many a year. Our dog which was stolen way back in the late 70's has never been replaced as I couldn't deal with not knowing if he was cared for properly or maybe neglected. Sadly when they die you know what has happened, but we didn't with Ben. Take care, stay safe and huggles. Merry Christmas & hope you have a lovley day albeit quiet.

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    1. Oh Susan, having your dog stolen must have been heartbreaking, I know I wouldn't have been able to bear that either. Wishing you a Merry Christmas too. Take care.

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  5. It's been such an awful year for most of us but for some of us there's been extra to endure. As they say, these things are sent to try us, and they certainly have. I hope that having Annie's things around you brings you some comfort. I think you have to be one hundred percent committed to a dog and you certainly need your health in order to give them everything they require. I'm sure you'll be back up to par soon and perhaps then you might be able to offer a home to another dog. I hope you found some peace and happiness in your Christmas Day celebrations and that 2021 brings only good things for us all xx

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    1. It would feel wrong to take Annie's bed away and her harness and lead are still hanging up where they were kept. It is comforting to still have her things around. We are hoping that 2021 will be a much better year for everyone.

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  6. Sending love to you and your family this Christmastime, Eileen. I hope the New Year will be kinder to you. Xx

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    1. Thank you Jules, your words are much appreciated x

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